Trump Invites Doubting Democrats To Touch The Hole In His Ear

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump laid rumors of health decline to rest yesterday by inviting doubting Democrats to come forward and touch the hole in his ear. According to eyewitnesses, Trump miraculously appeared in the House Chambers and called for the unbelieving Democrats to step forward and put their fingers to his ear. "Look, you can put your whole finger through it," Trump explained patiently to dozens of doubting Democrats. "Why do you hang back? Why did you doubt my health? Come forward and feel my ear — it's got a really beautiful lobe, just a fantastic lobe, even...