The Hidden Meanings Behind Chad, Stacey And Other Terms Kids Are Using Online

Kids come out with all kinds of phrases that can baffle the older generations around them – from telling you to “call your Uber” to branding everything “mid”.

But there are some words they may use which could signal they’re being exposed to troubling content online. 

We recently covered how terms such as frame-mogging, jestermaxxing and mewing stem from the “manosphere” – a collection of websites and forums that typically promote masculinity, some of which increasingly amplify misogynistic views.

Some boys are also now using the derogatory and dehumanising term “foids” (stemming from “female robot” or “android”) to refer to women and girls.

How are kids coming across these terms?

They’re typically originating from online incel (involuntary celibate) communities, before trickling down into mainstream culture. 

Incel communities tend to be made up of men who forge a sense of identity around their perceived inability to form sexual or romantic relationships. They might say this is because of how they look or because they’re “low status”. Either way, much of their anger is directed at women.

Their views and terms have entered mainstream culture through popular manosphere influencers – who, as HuffPost’s Brittany Wong puts it, “mask their misogyny in self-help, fitness tips and ‘pickup artist’-style dating advice”.

These kinds of terms can easily become normalised online when kids are exposed to this kind of content, over and over. 

What are Chads and Staceys?

According to Educate Against Hate, incels “define themselves by creating archetypes and caricatures of those they consider to be outside of, or adversaries of, their subculture”.

And these are typically based on pretty misogynistic stereotypes. 

While using them isn’t a sign your child is part of an incel community (especially if other kids at school are using these terms and they’re simply trying to fit in), it’s still worth exploring what they think these terms mean.

Chads are the ultimate alpha male – extremely masculine, powerful, dominant and successful with women. Educate Against Hate defines them as “a typically attractive male who is idolised for his good looks including bone structure, genes, and height among other factors”. 

Exploring the history of the term, Merriam-Webster dictionary noted that in the early 2000s, Chad was used as a “humorous generic term for a stereotypical frat boy or jock, and also as a slang insult with the meaning ‘loser, idiot, jerk’”.

But by the 2010s, the incel community had adopted it as a stereotype for an alpha male.

Around the same time, they started using Stacy/Stacey to refer to Chad’s female counterpart. According to Robert Lawson, an associate professor in sociolinguistics at Birmingham City University, Stacey is seen as a “hyper-attractive, sexually desirable, promiscuous but vapid woman”.

In a piece for The Conversation, Prof Lawson said Stacey “is ultimately unobtainable, especially to men who are not Chads”. 

Dictionary.com suggested when incels use the term Stacey/Stacy, it’s “similar to the term whore” adding that it’s “dehumanising” and “sexist”.

Educate Against Hate mentioned a third archetype – Becky – which it described as someone who is considered “average looking”. The site suggested “incels feel they’re ‘owed’ sex and relationships from Beckys as they’re seen as inferior to Staceys”. 

Nowadays, Becky might be used to refer to a “clueless or entitled white woman”, according to Merriam-Webster. 

The name was also given a new lease of life by Beyoncé’s 2016 track Sorry, from her album Lemonade, where she refers to “Becky with the good hair”, widely believed to be referring to the other (potentially, white) woman in an affair.

Dictionary.com notes the name Becky “became widely used as a slang insult in the late 2010s”, adding that “Becky is stereotyped as a so-called basic bitch who is a privileged, sheltered, generic, and unlikeable white woman”. 

Meanwhile Chad’s usage morphed into the mainstream as a form of praise for a guy seen as impressive (around the same time “sigma” – used to describe men as cool and successful, but on their own terms – started taking off). 

Although some still use it disparagingly to refer to someone who’s “hypermasculine or heedlessly cocky”.

If you’ve noticed kids referring to each other as Chads, Stacys or even Beckys, it might be worth gently exploring where they’re coming across these terms, what they think they mean, and even teaching them the N.O.I.S.E check to encourage critical thinking of any online content they might be coming across.