The hazardous sex act women adore and that men think is ‘magnificent’

Men and women both mutually enjoy this sex act (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

When we think about women getting on top during sex, we typically think of cowgirl.

The position caused quite a stir when we discovered that, while women say it makes them feel ‘sexy and confident’, many men secretly hate it.

But now there’s another on-top sex position that has proved to be extremely popular with the ladies: facesitting.

Otherwise known as queening, this oral sex act involves a woman sitting on a man’s face, with one leg on either side of his head, as he pleasures her with his tongue. It’s got big ties to the BDSM community and fem-dom.

Ethical porn site Sssh.com has revealed that facesitting is its most requested intimate act on the site, which has a 76% female audience.

‘The facesitting they want isn’t necessarily BDSM-specific or about serving a “mistress,” but more about expressing adoration of her body and emphasising her pleasure,’ Angie Rowntree, the site founder, explains.

The women of Reddit agreed, sharing their love for the oral act. ‘It’s the only way I can get off, I love it so hard,’ said one.

‘It’s the easiest position for me to have an orgasm,’ added another. ‘Though, sometimes I get carried away with the “oh my god am I crushing him” thoughts and it takes a moment to get back into the moment.’

Women shared it was one of the easiest positions to orgasm in (Picture: Getty Images)

One eager woman shared she had gotten a bit too excited while queening, saying: ‘I nearly broke my husband’s nose when I really got into it. Workplace hazard.’

This oral act has also seen a surge in popularity in Sheffield, where locals contributed to a 300% search increase – it seems northerners are keen to pleasure their partners.

And men seem to go pretty wild for queening, too. ‘Sometimes we are so horny that we want to experience as much of you as closely as possible, and that is by burying our faces in your treasure chest,’ said one guy.

‘One of my exes really liked to face towards the top of my head and start using my nose for added stimulation when she was getting close,’ shared another.

An enthusiastic lover wrote: ‘Face towards my head. The view of a woman’s breasts from below is magnificent. And I can use my hands on the lady.’

Other men shared it was a good position for ‘admiring the view’ and that they didn’t want women to worry about the smell of their genitals because ‘men who want this are usually not at all bothered about that… they actually enjoy everything about it.’

What you need to know about facesitting

Sex expert Gigi Engle previously told Metro queening is a great position both to achieve female orgasm and also to engage in some light BDSM when it comes to the woman dominating their partner.

And Lovehoney’s sex expert Annabelle Knight agrees this is a big reason why women might love facesitting. ‘By sitting on another person’s (man or woman) face, you are exerting total control in that situation over them,’ she tells Metro.

Queening has been around for hundreds of years (Picture: Getty Images)

‘In addition to the physical aspect, the pleasure or stimulation of facesitting is entirely one-way, which adds to the power dynamic.’

Of course, it’s not always the power dynamic that gets people off. Annabelle adds that the vulva is positioned perfectly to sit over the other person’s mouth for easy access.

‘Another benefit of face sitting is that it leaves the recipient’s hands free to explore the face sitter’s body, whether that is the clitoris, anus or other erogenous zones (depending on position and reach),’ she adds.

Because it’s a position that puts female pleasure at the forefront, Annabelle believes this is why it’s so popular among ethical porn watchers.

‘So much of “traditional” or free porn focuses on male pleasure, and the man receiving oral sex, this position flips that narrative on its head,’ she explains. ‘It does also offer a chance to explore light anal play, and almost normalises the area in relation to sexual intimacy.’

While facesitting might be having a moment, it’s not exactly new. In fact, Annabelle points out instances of cunnilingus and female sexual worship date all the way back to Ancient Rome and South Asian origins such as the Kama Sutra.

‘There are also suggestions instances of queening can be found in French paintings from the 1700s, while 19th century artists such as Félicien Rops and Henrich Lossow created art either depicting that act or a similar concept, so we can assume it’s been around for a number of years.

One big safety disclaimer

While this saucy position may be enjoyable, it’s important you practice this safely, because your face allows you to breathe, and if it’s covered, that could cause problems.

‘You shouldn’t fully sit on someone’s face, you don’t want to suffocate anyone,’ Gigi explained.

‘You should be hovering over their face or sitting back more on their chest but you should communicate during both to see what’s most comfortable.’

Annabelle also stresses the importance of consent which must be given by both parties, and having a prior conversation.

‘Given potential ramifications, you should agree a safe word or safe action (such as a double hand pat) to ensure that all parties are safe,’ she says.

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