The extremely divisive sex act that women say can ‘dry them up like the desert’

It’s not everyone’s cup of tea (Picture: Getty Images/Connect Images)

There are some sex acts that can prove pretty divisive, whether it’s reverse cowgirl or spitting while doing the deed.

And now, there’s another one to add to that list. Popular in porn, the act of ‘p**sy slapping’ has become a hot topic after one man took to social media claiming he was surprised by how many women enjoyed it.

Simply put, the act involves anything from tapping to slapping the vulva, with a hand or penis with varying pressure, something that could be painful as well as pleasurable.

‘I’ve had the opportunity to be intimate with a few women over the past year,’ the 36-year-old said on Reddit. ‘Almost every one of them engaged in some sort of p**sy slapping.

‘The most common form were fast slaps right when they began to climax.’

He asked if this was a new sex trend, but many women were surprised at his findings.

‘I had a male date surprise me by doing this while we were getting hot and heavy,’ wrote one woman. ‘No warning whatsoever. Just slapped. I pulled the brakes and left.’

‘I don’t like a slap because I don’t like pain at all, especially on my most sensitive parts during sex,’ admitted another. ‘It will dry me up like the desert.’

‘It’s not sexy, and it’s not pleasurable,’ one added.

So why is this act suddenly popping up in bedrooms?

It can be part of masochism kinks but it’s an acquired taste for many women (Picture: Getty Images)

The porn problem

Many women on social media were quick to blame porn for the normalisation of slapping a woman’s vulva, and sex experts agree ‘p**sy slapping’ is a popular motif in explicit content.

‘It’s popular in scenes where men are in a dominant role, and it sits alongside power play,’ psychosexual therapist Becky Crepsley-Fox tells Metro. ‘Some women may have been curious about this since adolescence, but for many, the interest is likely a learned behaviour picked up from porn.

‘But, that doesn’t make the enjoyment any less real, although it’s worth asking yourself whether you genuinely want it or feel you’re expected to.’

Sexologist Ness Cooper tells Metro there’s always a risk with any sex act depicted in porn that someone may assume it’s pleasurable for everyone, but as with anything between the sheets, you must discuss trying this and get enthusiastic consent.

There are real risks to this. ‘If it’s too hard, it can lead to unwanted bruising and swelling,’ the expert points out. ‘This can make other sexual acts uncomfortable and can also take time to heal and make moving and sitting painful.’

What to expect from ‘p**sy slapping’

Ness explains that ‘p**sy slapping’ is when a slapping motion is used to apply one-off pressure to the vulva or clitoris.

‘It can also be referred to as a smack. Although in some social groups, it may also just imply rough sex leading to hard penetrative motions that can lead to bodies slapping against each other,’ Ness explains.

‘But a smack focuses on contact with the clitoris or the mons pubis, and can be performed with a hand, the palm, a tip of the penis, a spanking paddle, and even a flogger.’

According to Becky, what typically feels good is ‘closer to a firm tap than a full-on slap’.

‘Tapping wakes up the nerve endings and spreads sensation across the whole outer vulva, which is a lovely way to include more of the vulva in play rather than focusing only on the clitoris,’ Becky says.

How can it be pleasurable?

The allure is that the pressure is entirely customisable and can stimulate the nerve endings in a new and exhilarating way.

‘A lighter tap can feel exciting and awakening, while a sharper one can tip into a sting, and because pain and pleasure are processed in closely linked areas of the brain, that sting can feel really good for some people,’ Becky explains.

Of course, as a type of impact play, it feeds into kink, too. Ness explains it could fall under masochism or sadomasochism, where sexual arousal comes from experiencing or inflicting pain.

‘Some individuals who focus on it as a part of kink play can task themselves with aiming to endure firmer and harder slaps as a form of reward, focus and control focused submission,’ Ness explains.

As long as you know how to practice it safely, there’s no reason you can’t enjoy it if you’re curious (Picture: Getty Images/Cavan Images RF)

‘The performing partner may also enjoy the sound produced from slapping, particularly if the clitoris is lubricated.’

And, there were plenty of women who sang its praises. ‘It’s like spanking…’ one woman explained. ‘If done at the right time with the right pressure, it’s just a different sensation that causes that mix of pleasure and pain. It’s not for everyone.’

‘It doesn’t hurt, it really does help with the climax. I often do it with a magic wand during solo play,’ said one.

How to practice it safely

If you find yourself intrigued by this divisive practice, then we’ve got some guidelines if you want to try your hand at it.

‘Keep talking throughout and start gently,’ Becky explains. ”Make sure to trim fingernails and take off rings to avoid catching delicate skin, then get into a comfortable position where it’s easy to make contact.

‘Use lube so nothing drags or rubs. Aim for the fleshy outer lips, not the bony pubic area. Start very lightly and build up slowly to find the pressure that works.

‘Curiosity is completely normal, and so is deciding it isn’t for you. Treat it like any new sensation: talk first, start gently, and check in.’

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk

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