People believe the rapture is coming today and hope they can take their dogs

Happy New Year, bitches! Or alternatively, salutations on this day of the rapture. Allow me to explain: today is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. It falls on a different date in the Gregorian calendar each year because the Gregorian calendar is solar, while the Jewish one is lunisolar. (And the Chinese is lunar, rounding out the trifecta of New Years I observed as a Jewish kid growing up in San Francisco. Shanah Tovah Gong Hei Lang Syne.) But today is also special because Jesus visited a South African pastor in a dream to give him the heads-up that the rapture will be taking place today and . . .