My drunken date got us escorted out – but I stayed for another drink

I was putting myself out there for the first time since my break up (Picture: Soukaina Benzakour)

I was a couple of months out of a two-year relationship when an expensively dressed man in a cashmere jumper and designer trousers approached me at a posh restaurant in London, where I was enjoying afternoon tea and a gossip with a friend.

He introduced himself as James* and asked for my number. I liked how bold he was and was impressed by his confidence and courage, so I said ‘why not?’

I was putting myself out there for the first time since my break up, so I was a little nervous the day of the date, but I put my reservations to the back of my mind and met him in a swanky private members’ club for drinks and dinner.

When we first sat down, he seemed nice; grounded. He was a little reserved, but he was asking lots of questions and seemed genuinely interested in me.

As I don’t drink, when the waiter came over, I ordered a sparkling water. I hadn’t told James that before, but he didn’t mind and even asked if I’d rather he didn’t.

I said, of course he could drink… but was a little surprised when he ordered a whole bottle of red wine for himself.

By this point I was feeling on edge and anxious (Picture: Soukaina Benzakour)

I watched as he steadily drank the lot.

We then went on to a fancy five-star restaurant for dinner, and that’s when trouble really started. He ordered another bottle of wine for himself, and a cocktail, and then his demeanour started to change. He was slurring his speech and looking drowsy, yet still proceeded to order plates and plates of food, insisting we try everything on the menu.

By this point I was feeling on edge and anxious – worrying about the state he was in and whether he was fit to be on this date. 

As soon as I got the chance, I texted my mum from the loo, explaining that the date was not going well. She tried to reassure me that maybe he was nervous and that I should give him a chance. So, I took her advice and returned to the table.

We had lobster spaghetti, rabbit and venison, chicken cutlets, truffle fries and more – the plates kept landing on the table.

Trouble arrived with the starter – a simple burrata dish, that was served with chilli oil and chilli flakes – but my date was in a rage about the way it was presented and went ballistic. 

I tried to calm him down, but everyone was looking at us (Picture: Soukaina Benzakour)

He summoned a waitress, loudly telling her how disgusting it was. He bragged that he’d dined at Michelin-star restaurants all over the world, and that he’d never had burrata like this. Then, in true Karen style, he demanded to speak to the manager, and began shouting and swearing at everyone.

He was being very snobby – explaining that as a traditional dish, Italians would never serve it covered with chilli flakes. 

Meanwhile, the plates of food we’d ordered just kept arriving. 

Shellshocked, I tried to calm him down, but everyone was looking at us. It was embarrassing and I didn’t know what to do. There was a couple next to us and they kept looking at me as if to say – is everything okay?

By this point I knew he was just a horrible person and I needed to get away from him and go home. I felt so uncomfortable and wanted this date from hell to end.

We ordered an Uber and the manager had to escort us out because of the state he was in and the bottles lining up on the table. 

When he asked me if I wanted to come to another bar to meet his friends, I agreed. I don’t know why – I must have felt bad for him. But by this point I was feeling really anxious. 

As soon as we got to the next location, he started ordering tequila and was such a mess. Seeing that his friends were dealing with him, I decided to leave, but he kept asking me to take my coat off, saying: ‘I thought we were going to go back to mine and watch a movie and get dessert’. 

After I managed to escape in a taxi, that night he kept on ringing me, but I ignored his calls.

The next day he texted again and sent me a voice note, asking if he had done something to upset me. I replied saying that his behaviour didn’t align with the kind of man I was looking for. He kept apologising, making excuses and asking for a second chance, but I ignored him. 

I’ve learned to stand up for myself (Picture: Soukaina Benzakour)

I was never going to message back at this point. My mind was fully made up about him. 

Needless to say, we didn’t go on a second date.

When I look back on that date from hell now, I wonder why I didn’t leave sooner.

I don’t know if I had internalised the view that women must be demure, we can’t be too bold or seem like a bitch or act like a diva. To be honest, I hated the idea of making a scene.

It’s also down to boundary issues, I’m sure – but since then, I’ve learned to stand up for myself and now know that if I don’t like a situation I will take myself out of it. 

And I definitely have a stricter vetting system now.

*Names have been changed.

As told to Sarah Ingram

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