There’s a confidence crisis facing young people. A 2025 report from from youth and education agency Hark, revealed almost one-third of 11- to 18-year-olds in the UK have little or no confidence.
On top of this, life satisfaction among young people is on the decline. New analysis by the Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR) found the number of young people who are satisfied with their lives has fallen from 62% in 2010 to 44% today among 16- to 24-year-olds living in England.
Yet research has demonstrated a strong link between mental health and confidence levels. High levels of symptoms such as anxiety and depression have been associated with low confidence, for example.
So, how can parents best help encourage confidence in children and teens? I reached out to Dr Patapia Tzotzoli, clinical psychologist and founder of My Triage Network, to discuss the best techniques.
1. Praise effort, strategy and persistence
The psychologist said when parents comment on the effort and approach their children make, rather than fixed traits, it helps them develop a growth mindset. They then believe their abilities can improve with practice.
Instead of saying “You’re so clever”, Dr Tzotzoli advises parents to say, “You worked really hard on that,” or “I noticed you tried a different strategy.”
Dr Lucie Hemmen, a clinical psychologist and author of multiple books on parenting teens, previously noted that compliments “do not create true confidence for teens”.
2. Let children do age-appropriate things for themselves
“Confidence grows from lived experience, therefore it is very important that children need chances to try, struggle, make mistakes and recover,” said Dr Tzotzoli.
“Parents can build this by giving manageable responsibilities, such as ordering their own food, packing their school bag, choosing clothes, or solving a problem before they step in. The aim is to support your child, without stepping in too quickly.”
As they grow older, Dr Hemmen suggested in a TikTok video that teens need the “opportunity to interact with challenges that are a little outside their comfort zone”.
She added that summer is “a great time to work with your teen to find developmentally appropriate stretches that give them the opportunity to build true confidence”.
This could look like volunteering, learning an instrument or even setting up their own side hustle (the kids in my street have been doing everything from car and bin-washing to babysitting over the holidays – they even made fliers!).
3. Use specific encouragement
Dr Tzotzoli said another helpful strategy is to describe what you observe when your child does something difficult. For example, you could say: “You were nervous, but you still walked into the room,” or “You asked for help instead of giving up.”
“This helps children see themselves as capable, brave and resourceful,” she said, adding that general reassurance such as “You’ll be fine” is “often less helpful than highlighting what the child has already managed”.
4. Give children limited choices to build autonomy
For younger children, offering two or three realistic choices helps them feel some control over a situation without becoming overwhelmed, noted the psychologist.
“For example, you can ask ‘Would you like to try homework before or after snack?’ or ‘Do you want to practise for five minutes or 10?’,” said the expert.
“ Giving children age-appropriate choices helps them feel capable and involved, rather than simply being told what to do.”
5. Model confidence by showing healthy self-talk after mistakes
Your children can also learn a lot from how you handle setbacks. If you did something incorrectly, you could highlight that and say: “I got that wrong, but I can try again.”
This can teach more than a lecture about resilience, said Dr Tzotzoli. “It normalises mistakes as part of learning and helps children see failure as part of the process, not the end of the story.”
In her own home, when she gets something wrong, she’ll celebrate it in front of her children and show genuine excitement, “because I tell them I am now one step closer to getting it right”.
She ended: “There are also some lovely children’s books that reinforce this message, such as The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires, which shows how frustration, mistakes and persistence are all part of the creative process.”
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