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Ever since Alan Carr somehow won Celebrity Traitors, I, like so many of you, have been counting down the days for its return.
Well, the wait is almost over as a new line-up of celebrities with arguably even more star power than ever before will be entering Ardross castle when the first episode airs next week.
However, I was one of the select few who have already seen the first episode, sat with Claudia Winkleman and Ed Gamble at a top-secret London screening.
Naturally, I can’t give any spoilers away and wouldn’t want to. But I can warn you all: expect the unexpected and some absolutely mind-blowing twists that have never been seen before.
If I wasn’t pulling my hair out or letting out gasps far too loud to be shared in public, I was belly-laughing the entire way through.
Somehow, even without the diabolic gameplay of Alan Carr or Celia Imrie’s farts, the first episode is instantly even funner than series one which I never thought possible.
Though, there are enough comedians in the cast to make a Last One Laughing line-up so perhaps it’s not that surprising after all.
Joe Lycett, Joanne McNally, Miranda Hart, James Acaster, Rob Beckett, and Romesh Ranganathan together in one show is, as you’d expect, sidesplittingly funny. Even Claudia had to break character, laughing so much. ‘Rob Beckett said something that made me hide in a bush until I composed myself,’ she said.
But once again, you can’t quite believe the calibre of showbiz that Celebrity Traitors is able bring, it’s an unrivalled feat of television that absolutely no other show – past or present – has ever come close to pulling off.
Ahead of the show’s launch, the cast has been unbearably tight-lipped about the events they’ve witnessed unfold.
James Blunt appeared on The One Show alongside series one finalist Joe Marler who spoke for all of us when he stopped the You’re Beautiful singer from sharing any spoilers.
The rugby star panicked: ‘Mate, what are you doing? No, stop, don’t do that, you’re not allowed to say anything about Celebrity Traitors. Don’t say anything, pack it in. I don’t want to know!’
Last year’s winner Alan recently revealed who he thought could follow his lead and go all the way to the end.
‘Do you know what, I’m super excited about Miranda Hart because Miranda reminds me a bit of me and if they make her a Traitor, that is gonna be TV gold,’ he told us.
He also warned us that his friend Joanne ‘is a motormouth’ and we should expect her to be a ‘whirlwind.’
The Irish comic has already proved him right, taking a swipe at the first Celebrity Traitors series two trailer for not giving her enough airtime.
In a video on Instagram, she said: ‘Every single time there’s a trailer released for the Celebrity Traitors – which starts on October 1 – I’m like, oh it’s so exciting and I press play. It’s the biggest thing I’ve ever done in my career; it’s so exciting.
‘And every time I’m not in any of them. I’m like, okay, that’s cool. I’m sure it’s fine. Probably, maybe they’re like, she makes such an impact on the show that we don’t want to oversaturate her at this stage. I’m sure it’s fine.
‘I did do it, didn’t I? Imagine if I tried to text Maya Jama now and she’s like, “Who is this?” I was like, oh my god, I made the whole thing up in my head.’
Joanne is currently the bookies’ favourite to win, alongside Bella Ramsey who revealed they have been playing a similar board game for the last 12 years. Even bookmakers, however, have absolutely no means to predict what actually unfolded in the castle.
Celebrity Traitors was by far the biggest television event of 2025, with the final attracting more than 15million, making it the top-rated entertainment programme since 2016.
I have every faith, series two might do even better.
Celebrity Traitors returns to BBC One at 9pm on October 1 and is available to stream on BBC iPlayer.
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