I can’t stop thinking about my 14-month situationship — but I know I’m not attached

She split with her ex of three years (Picture: Myles Goode)

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week we hear from Diana*, a 34-year-old single writer from London, who is currently in a situationship.

‘I met Max* through friends at a pub last year and we’ve been casually sleeping together for 14 months,’ she says.

It’s been a change of pace for Diana who had a mortgage with her ex-boyfriend of three years. But now she’s now taking time to heal — and try not things in the bedroom.

‘My ex wasn’t into foreplay and once even got quite cross with me for suggesting a vibrator, so I always felt a little embarrassed to explore sexually,’ she explains.

‘I often felt my ex was only instigating sex to get rid of his sexual tension — it was never about enjoyment or a desire for me.

‘It left me really disliking sex which was why we ended things.’

Now she sees Max every couple of weeks which keeps things exciting.

‘There’s something light and sexy that we can keep alive as we don’t know the intricacies of the other’s work diary or life admin,’ Diana adds.

So without further ado, here’s how Diana got on this week…

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

Monday

Max, my situationship is still asleep in my bed.

I take him a coffee in bed and give him a kiss. My heart feels strangely full, even though we’re not committed to each other long term.

I think we had sex six times over the weekend, but sometimes it was just a lot of touching and no climax, which just adds to the intensity.

Recently, I’ve started orgasming more readily than usual. I think it’s because I’m growing really comfortable around Max, and he knows exactly where to touch me now.

Last night, things got particularly heated during a film. I felt his erection first and then we lay there, slowly touching. I stroked his hard penis through his trousers, he touched my nipples over my bra.

It got to the point both of us were so turned on we couldn’t stop, and the touching got really intense. I hastily gave him a blow job and he went down on me — I completely lost myself.

I used to hate men giving me oral but Max takes such pleasure in it, and tells me how much he likes it.

We 69-ed with him on top and after that, he was desperate to be inside me. I rode him, before he finished in my mouth.

It’s quite new for me to do so much foreplay. I’m letting myself explore in a way I haven’t before.

With last night’s antics still on my mind, I dash out the door, ready to take on the day.

Tuesday

I’m up early for a HIIT class before heading to the office.

I’m feeling a bit down today, but I’ve been through this enough times before to put it down to classic post-sex hormones.

I really want some emotional reassurance from Max, but I remind myself that’s not what we’re doing.

I know we’re not right for each other long term. I remind myself it’s fulfilling because of the hot sex, not because I want him to be my boyfriend.

Getting to work feels like a bit of a relief from the anxious spiral. I daydream a little about Max when I’m making coffee or going to the bathroom, and can feel myself getting a bit turned on when I think back to our weekend sex.

Wednesday

I’m back in the office today but I manage a nice walk with my friend on my lunch break.

I’m feeling a bit lighter today after Max and I have been messaging about how good the sex was.

We’re making plans to see each other again. Knowing we’ll see each other again quells some anxiety, and I allow myself to feel excited about it again.

Every time I see a message from him, I get a little warm buzz.

Thursday

I’m working from home today and change the bed sheets we had sex in, spying little reminders of our weekend together. At lunch time, I roll into bed to think about him and touch myself.

I reach for my Anne Summer’s G Spot Stroking Rampant Rabbit and start on clitoral stimulation until I’m wet enough to put it inside me.

I used to watch porn to orgasm, even with my ex I would do it while he was at work (which he hated).

But more recently, I’ve let myself just think of Max. The thought of him alone really turns me on, probably because our relationship isn’t bogged down with other life admin or stresses. It’s purely sexual and it’s freeing.

I’ve found masturbating while thinking about him increases the build-up to the real-life sex, and makes it more intense for me.

Friday

I get home from meeting friends after work. I’ve been too busy to think about Max, so we’ve not been in touch today.

My friends worry I’m ‘wasting my time’ with him and I’ve tried to explain that, after coming out of a long-term relationship where the sex was so unfulfilling, I don’t want to date seriously yet.

What I have with Max is letting me heal emotionally, but we’re still having fun.

Saturday

It’s a slow morning at home. I’m meeting a friend for lunch but not until 2pm so I lie in bed reading.

After messaging with Max for a few minutes though, I get my rabbit out again. I find masturbating like this first thing really sets me up for the day. I feel lighter and giddier about the day.

I finish and take a shower before meeting my friend for a nice afternoon.

Sunday

I’m going to Max’s in a few hours so I’m making sure I feel sexy, which involves a bit of exercise, doing my hair nicely and picking lacey underwear.

I’m excited to see him, he’s cooking for me tonight. I text him this, and spend the rest of the afternoon daydreaming until I make my way over there.

When I arrive he’s busy cooking, although he takes little breaks to touch me and kiss me, so by the time we’ve eaten, I’m really turned on.

We kiss for ages on his sofa after dinner, but both of us are too full to get any further.

When we get into bed, things get hot again. We give each other oral before having the most incredible sex.

I fall asleep next to him and wake up to a cup of tea before heading to work.

I know my friends find this situationship baffling but it’s the most satisfied I’ve ever been with a man.

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