Conan Exiles whips out a massive Unreal Engine 5 upgrade that includes an 'enhanced endowment slider' to further improve player penises

Conan Exiles received a major update earlier this week, upgrading Funcom's sword & sorcery survival game to Unreal Engine 5 with all the graphical whizzbangs that entails. Conan Exiles Enhanced introduces Lumen-powered global illumination, enhanced geometry, improved character models, lighting and effects, among many other things.

This includes an, er, improvement to one of Conan Exiles' most infamous features. Tucked away in the corner of its feature showcase is a note that the update introduces an "enhanced endowment slider". To put that in layman's terms, Conan Exiles is getting better dicks, overhauling the physics-infused genitalia that caused such a stir when the game was originally announced.

Funcom is oddly coy about how exactly the endowment slider has been improved. Despite being listed as a major new feature, changes to the endowment slider aren't mentioned in the patch notes, and Funcom doesn't discuss it in any detail in its launch post. Back in 2017, creative director Jon Bylos mentioned several possible penis-related features, such as adding hitboxes and even letting players collect them as trophies. But the fact Funcom refers specifically to the slider suggests its improvements are cosmetic rather than functional.

Fortunately, Funcom is more forthcoming about other changes the update brings. Alongside the visual improvements, Conan Exiles Enhanced stitches together the base map and the Isle of Siptah expansion into one seamless world (though you still need to purchase the latter separately). It overhauls the building system, letting players perform actions like building, crafting, repairing and cloth dyeing from their inventory. The journey system has been reworked so that players can complete all available journeys rather than whichever one they happen to have active.

The update also brings extensive bugfixes and performance improvements, including support for various frame generation technologies like DLSS 4.5 and FSR 3. Inventory loading times have been sped up, high detail render distance has been improved, and most importantly, players can expect more stable "poison fog rendering", which I always appreciate when asphyxiating on noxious gases.

If you're yet to brave the windswept wilds of Conan Exiles, the game is currently on a 25% discount. That means you can grab it for $30 (£25.50) until May 18.