California Election Catastrophe Averted [semi-satire]

This week, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) took action to avert a Democrat disaster in the state's gubernatorial election. Sitting Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) is term-limited. A crowd of candidates are running in the "jungle primary" where the top two finishers are paired against each other in the general election. Since last November polls have repeatedly shown that the top two candidates favored by the voters are both Republicans. Pelosi said "when Eric Swalwell told me he was going to run for governor I advised him not to. We all knew he had been naughty, but Congress has a...