1 In 3 Teens Fearful For Future, Psychologists Share How Parents Can Help

One-third of teenagers (34%) have revealed they’re worried about what the future holds, making it the most common concern among young people today.

The finding comes from a new survey of over 2,200 teens by the NSPCC to mark Childline’s 40th anniversary.

It also found more than one in five young people (22%) are troubled by the state of the world and one-quarter (26%) said mental health was one of their top concerns. 

How parents can support teens who are worried for the future

It can be difficult to know how to respond when your son or daughter reveals they’re worried for their future. You don’t want to dismiss what they’re saying or brush it off, but equally, you don’t want to add fuel to the fire. So, what’s the right reaction?

Dr Sasha Hall, a senior educational and child psychologist, urges parents to stay calm and don’t overreact or be dismissive.

She said common concerns among kids of this age include worries about grades and exams; anxiety around disappointing parents; feeling pressure to choose the right career; and not knowing what they want to do or feeling that they should already have everything figured out.

“Avoid dismissing their worries with phrases such as ‘do not be silly’, ‘you are too young to worry about that’ or ‘it will all work itself out’,” Dr Hall advised.

“Although well-intentioned, these responses can make a teenager feel that their concerns are not being taken seriously.”

The psychologist said it takes courage for a teenager to share their worries.

“You want them to feel they can tell you anything without you catastrophising, making it a bigger deal than it needs to be, or reacting in a way that makes them reluctant to open up again,” she continued.

When a child discloses they’re anxious about the future, her advice is to stop what you are doing (if appropriate) and give them your full attention. Consider whether eye contact will help them feel heard, or whether it’s best to chat side by side.

As they open up, Dr Hall advises parents to validate their teen’s feelings. “You could acknowledge that you felt uncertain about your future at their age, too, and explain that it is normal to feel anxious about something that matters so much to them,” she suggested.

Validation can be a “powerful” tool, noted Dr Wildaliz Caro, a clinical psychologist and medical contributor at Aura Recovery Center, as overwhelming feelings of uncertainty can feel very consuming for anxious teens.

“The emotional reactions of a teenage brain can feel urgent and overwhelming,” she said, adding that emotional validation teaches your teen that feeling and expressing their emotions is OK.

“The use of validation is so powerful, yet so simple. Because validation touches a core human need for acceptance, its use may help ease tension during difficult conversations. Teens sometimes worry that there’s something wrong with their feelings because their emotions can be so powerful.”

Once you’ve offered emotional support and reassurance, you can also offer practical support to your child (but without taking over completely).

Dr Hall suggested: “Ask whether they would find it helpful to research different careers or courses together, or perhaps visit a college. This allows you to support them while keeping them involved in making their own decisions.”

While worrying about the future is a normal part of growing up, when the level of worry begins to affect a teenager’s everyday life, parents should consider seeking extra support. Signs of this, per Dr Hall, include: 

Losing their appetite or experiencing changes in their eating or sleeping patterns;Withdrawing from friends or no longer wanting to socialise;Their worries are affecting school attendance, concentration or their ability to manage everyday activities.They appear persistently anxious, low or overwhelmed, and their usual coping strategies are no longer helping.

“Parents can start by speaking to their GP or their teenager’s school,” said the expert. “Where concerns are more substantial, a referral to CAMHS may be appropriate.”