World Leaders Line Up To Ask Trump To Bomb Their Countries For A While And Then Give Them A Few Hundred Billion

WORLD — Global leaders rushed to sign up for Trump's incredible offer to have the U.S. bomb their country for a few weeks and then give them $300 billion. Sources within the White House reported days of jammed phone lines as countries from Mali to Uruguay repeatedly called to see if their country could be next. "Pick me, pick me," said Chilean President Jose Kast. "We are more than happy to hide out for a couple weeks in exchange for $300 billion. How do we get to the top of the list? Do we need to give some cash to...