The one change that worked: I gave away my last dress – and embraced the real me

Growing up, I could never be the ‘girly’ girl others expected. Even after coming out as gay, I struggled to know what to wear. But I think I’ve finally found my look

About a year ago, when I was packing to move to a new flat, I got rid of the only dress I owned. Before that, I hadn’t realised I was down to just the one. I knew I rarely reached for dresses and skirts any more, either in shops or in my wardrobe. And I had already taken the step of binning the unloved tangle of tights in my sock drawer. But the move to wearing only trousers had been gradual. A few months ago, I even surprised myself when my automatic response to someone’s question about my outfit was a calm and confident: “I’m not really a dress person.”

But it’s true, I’ve realised. I’m just not. That last dress – a simple black midi that represented the little black dress that 00s magazines taught me all women should have – had only been worn a handful of times. So on to the charity shop pile it went.