The charming Greek island where worries are left at the door

There’s more to this island than bucket-and-spade breaks, writes Guy Venables (Picture: Guy Venables)

Metro’s cartoonist Guy Venables sketches a magical summer holiday in Rhodes, a Greek island of ancient ruins and immaculate beaches.

As the Airbus banked hard for its final approach, I kicked myself that I hadn’t got my camera to hand.

Below us, in the final moments of pink sunlight, lay the huge wrinkled island of Rhodes, its ochre peaks draped with long gullies like a row of underfed lions cooling off in an azure sea.

As we exited the airport, we were hit by the intoxicating aroma of the night scented Oleander flowers that line the roads and lower hills, releasing their pollen in the heat of the night to be collected by moths.

Rhodes, the largest of Greece’s Dodecanese islands, sits defiantly below the western Turkish coastline.

Its history is one of conquering, sieges, trade and culture.

It has passed through the hands of the Dorians, Romans, Ottomans, Knights of St.John, Turks and Italians and is now, firmly, Greek.

These days, it’s also one of the most popular tourist destinations in the country.

A five-star all-inclusive hotel is a place for the truly weary. In places like the Princess Andriana resort, one needs to do no cooking, no organising, no childcare and, if you want, precious little thinking.

It throws a reverse gear on all responsibilities of daily life and a handbrake on work. 

This hotel alone has seven restaurants and eight bars, enough for a small town. There is a gym, a waterpark, tennis courts, an amphitheatre, a beach and a spa.

All-inclusive hotels throw a reverse gear on all responsibilities of daily life and a handbrake on work (Picture: Guy Venables)

We drove through the mountain hairpins, past deep ravines with lakes and valleys filled by gin clear rivers to the town of Apollona in the foothills of Mount Profitis Ilias.

There, we stopped at a traditional bakery run by the women of the village.

We ate sweet melikuna, made of sesame, honey and secrets, ‘spoon-sweet’ jams, honeys of astonishing floral qualities, and fried pastry with honey and nuts.

I bought a bottle of my old friend Tsipouro, known locally as Souma, a fiery white brandy and Trachana, a kind of crumbed savoury porridge made with soured cows milk that improves just about everything it is added to.

Addy, our guide, led us through this delightful village, pointing out local flora. Lemon verbina, mulberry, peach, carob and avocado trees lined the narrow streets and offered generous shade.

Most houses have set aside allotments, and each one has an external bread oven in which they slow cook goat during Michaelmas, a Christian festival observed in Eastern traditions.

The goats of Rhodes are so famous, they even have their own blog (Picture: Guy Venables)

Then to the local family-run winery Piperis, where we tasted dry to sweet white, through rose to the reds, all of it expertly balanced and some barrelled in oak.

I’ve long been a fan of Greek wines and these held up well with my expectations.

For many years, it was hard to come by in the UK, but now they seem to begrudgingly allow a few cases to sneak out of the country. It’s wholeheartedly welcomed.

I left with more bottles than I could carry, my twin boys taking up the slack.

After our stroll around the village, we set up in Yiarenis Taverna to learn how to make dolmades (delicious vine leaf wrapped rice mouthfuls), tzakziki and the unromantically named but delicious cheese pies, of which we took so many they became a staple during our trip. 

We had lunch on a long table, ate what we’d made for starters and were then served a hefty goat stew while cats’ tails stroked our legs.

Wild bottlenose dolphins around Rhodes can often be spotted near Makri Islet and open-water fish farms (Picture: Guy Venables)

It was one of those magical lunches where time slips and appears to stand still. We talked, laughed and committed the moment to core memory.

After lunch, we perched up in what used to be a men’s-only coffee shop called Kapenion.

The interior was filled with Turkish rugs, taxidermy and antique American and European mid century ephemera.

The coffee was thick, sweet and strong and we sat under a huge holm oak and laughed some more. 

Back at the cool of the marble clad hotel, the kids busied themselves at the water park, terrifying each other by going down increasingly frightening water pipes between free ice creams while my wife and I readied ourselves for our dinner at the Moonlight Restaurant.

Of the many restaurants, this is their most salubrious, with a spectacular 360-degree view of the sea, the mountains and the stars.

If you’d rather, down towards the beach there is a barbecue restaurant with huge burning pits, turning spits, grills and clay ovens where the meats and vegetables are expertly seared. Under eating is an impossibility.

There’s also a nice Italian by the poolside and an almost 24/7 open buffet. 

The next day,we drove through the central mountain ridges, this time through olive groves, past black goats and red earth.

Across Rhodes is the intoxicating aroma of Oleander (Picture: Guy Venables)

The roads were lined with beehives, yellow broom and rockfalls.

We passed sleeping villages seemingly occupied only by barking dogs.

The northeast of the island is more rugged. It’s where the fishermen work and the pace is slow.

The sea state, currents and waves are rougher and more alive.

The wind was pushing up white horses just off the lee of the land and gulls were swooping and diving.

Here, we met with enthusiastic marine biologists who work at Bluetopia, a family-run bass and bream fishfarm that has diversified into ecotourism. 

Once the powerful rib was a mile offshore and we were amongst the fish farm pens, we were surrounded by a pod of five curious bottlenose dolphins who danced on our bow wave, surfed our wake and jumped in great twisting arcs around us. 

Moored to a nearby island, we snorkelled amongst the black spotted sea bream fish farms and met inquisitive parrot fish, damsel fish, and blue star fish.

Then our twin 300 outboards sped us northwest through the sparkling sea to Alimia.

An island with a pristine crystal clear sheltered anchorage, a monastery, chapel and a long abandoned village. 

Here we were met by one of the two inhabitants, Kostas, a man who, along with the help of his friends and girlfriend Mina, rebuilt the monastery and chapel during lockdown and now lives the life of guardian, policeman and protector of the island. 

He grilled us red sea bream over olive wood and Mina made delicious salads.

We sat in the shade of olive trees and drank cold Assytiko white wine, as dry as fresh cut flint. 

On the way back, with our thundering wake unzipping the sea, one of my sons looked up to me and said with sincerity: ‘I think that may have been the best day of my life.’

Guy Veneables was a guest of the Princess Andriana resort, but don’t expect us to sugarcoat anything — our reviews are 100% independent.

Five days in a family room with a sharing pool on an all-inclusive basis starts from £1,939.

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