San Francisco Celebrates St. Patrick’s Day By Adding Green Dye To Sidewalk Poop

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Just in time for St. Patrick's Day, San Francisco officials spared no expense in dyeing all the poop on the city's sidewalks green. "Wow! It's so festive!" remarked one homeless man. "I should poop on the sidewalk more often." The project, spearheaded by Mayor Daniel Lurie, was reportedly a clever way to capitalize on the St. Patrick's Day holiday while also making the city's sidewalks slightly less revolting. Residents reacted favorably to the festive new sidewalks and claimed that it made the city feel that much more Irish. "There's still poop everywhere, but at least...