I invited friends to a garden party and surprised them with my wedding

After 22 years together, Elliott and I finally became husband and wife (Picture: Barbara Leatham Photography)

Our yearly summer party was in full swing.

Our closest family and best friends were mingling and chatting in our garden last year, ready to enjoy a BBQ.

As they all helped themselves to drinks, I winked at my fiancé, Elliott.

Our secret planning was paying off.

A few minutes later, I stepped out in a wedding dress – and our surprise nuptials began.

Jaws dropped as Marry You by Bruno Mars blasted over the speakers, and a photographer suddenly started snapping pictures of our gobsmacked guests.

The flowers were free from a local hobby gardener who was thrilled to help me (Picture: Pausing Time Photography)

My sons, Alfie, 20, and Charlie, 17, handed out confetti and Elliott and I strode towards the summer house to be greeted by our celebrant, ready for the ceremony to begin.

After 22 years together, Elliott and I finally became husband and wife – the surprise and shock on everyone’s faces was one of the best parts.

We’d kept the whole thing a secret until the last second so we could have our dream day: a stress-free, low-cost and low-key wedding.

My sons, Alfie, 20, and Charlie, 17, handed out confetti (Picture: Rachael Willoughby)

Elliott and I met at work in 1993.

In 2001, Elliott joined my design business; a year later, we were an item.

We had our sons but I never saw marriage as being part of our future. I felt it was an unnecessary expense and didn’t feel we needed to prove our love with lots of outdated traditions. 

Over the years, Elliott asked me many times to marry him – but I always said no. ‘What’s the point?’, I’d tease, insisting we were happy just the way we were.

The turning point for me was getting into the reality show Married at First Sight in 2024.

I’ve always liked to do things my own way (Picture: Barbara Leatham Photography)

I decided I wanted a little of that drama for myself (the ceremony and the romance, at least – not the arguments!).

I wanted to celebrate our family and share a special moment with our two boys who are growing at speed – not to mention the administrative reasons to get married.

We run a pizza business together, CasaGees, and I realised marriage would help with legal issues. If anything were to happen to either of us, we’d be each other’s next of kin.

But I’ve always liked to do things my own way. So, on February 29, 2024, I proposed to Elliott in the pub with a scratch card that said ‘Marry Me’.

We ended up with a total spend of roughly £3,500 (Picture: Pausing Time Photography)

He laughed and muttered, ‘Alright. How much is that going to cost me?’.

It was a perfectly low-key proposal for us; we just aren’t the overly romantic type.

We knew we wanted our wedding to be similarly understated and the best way for that to happen was to keep it a secret.

If we hosted our surprise wedding in the garden, nobody would suspect a thing – our summer party is a yearly tradition.

Now, we had to stick to a strict budget of £4,000 if we wanted our low-key day.

We ended up with a total spend of roughly £3,500, which I was delighted about.

I wanted to stick to my guns and leave it down to fate (Picture: Pausing Time Photography)

I loved every second of the secret planning process, especially knowing no one would dictate to us what we ‘should’ do, wear or – crucially – spend.

I do have one regret. Some of our friends and family were on holiday, or couldn’t travel to attend – and they were disappointed I hadn’t revealed the true reason for our gathering so they could have made arrangements to be there.

Gathering our loved ones with no rules, no forced gifts or family politics felt like a gift for them and us (Picture: Barbara Leatham Photography)

But I wanted to stick to my guns and leave it down to fate – because ultimately the day was for me, Elliott and our boys. It was perfect to us that we were all there.

On the morning of the wedding, I woke up feeling excited but also calm. I had no pre-wedding nerves. It all felt natural to me.

After the ceremony we celebrated with fizz and our catered food (Picture: Pausing Time Photography)

Thankfully, the rain clouds kept away. The only hiccup was that, after the ceremony, our music failed to work – but our lovely guests sang us down the aisle with the song Chapel of Love. That awkward moment became a wonderful memory and a highlight of the day. 

After the ceremony we celebrated with fizz and our catered food and continued to mingle with our guests until the early hours of the morning with lots of singing, hugging and dancing together.

For us, a ‘secret wedding’ was perfect – even our boys only knew two weeks before the big day – and luckily, none of my family members were upset to miss out on helping me with planning. In fact my dad was delighted because it was no stress for him either – no need to worry about what to wear or buy. 

My top tips to having a low-key, low-budget wedding are: Try to do it at home or a relative’s home to save venue costs, and look at secondhand places like Vinted and Facebook wedding pages.

And I really can’t recommend a ‘secret’ wedding enough. Gathering our loved ones with no rules, no forced gifts or family politics felt like a gift for them and us.

As told to Michelle Morgan Davies

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