Anyone Born in US Is a Citizen [semi-satire]

This week, a 6-3 majority of the US Supreme Court struck down President Trump's executive order attempting to restrict citizenship to persons legally residing in the country and a 5-4 majority ruled that the Constitution's 14th Amendment decrees that any person born here is a citizen. Chief Justice John Roberts asserted that "we are a nation of immigrants. No humans originated on any land in the western hemisphere. All humans arrived here from somewhere else on the planet. Historically, the US government encouraged immigration in order to populate a largely empty landscape. Anyone who could make the journey into the...