Am I a happier person for having a child? It’s the wrong question to ask | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

A new study finds that having children leaves your emotional wellbeing unchanged – but the truth is so much more complicated than that

Does having children make you happier? Apparently not, according to a new study published in Evolutionary Psychology which, despite involving more than 5,000 participants in 10 countries, including Britain, could find no strong evidence that parenthood led to a measurable increase in positive emotions. The researchers, led by Menelaos Apostolou of the University of Nicosia, looked at both hedonic wellbeing (day-to-day emotional states such as joy, sadness and loneliness) and eudaimonic wellbeing (a feeling of purpose and meaning). With the exception of mothers in Greece, who felt a greater sense of the latter, there was no statistically significant difference between parents and non-parents, suggesting that becoming a parent leaves your emotional wellbeing largely unchanged.

This was seen as surprising, but is it, truly? I love my son and being his mother has given my life great joy and meaning, but that is not to say that my life has more joy and meaning than that of someone without children. To an extent, comparing my life as a mother with the life of a stranger without children is meaningless: children are not appendages whose presence or absence reveal a static emotional state. The only way you could truly get the data would be by having access to the two timelines. In one, you had children, in the other, you didn’t. The parallel selves would each complete a cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) questionnaire which could then be compared.

Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett is a Guardian columnist